Ready for the Next Phase

So tomorrow's the day.  DH will go in for his 3 month SA to see if the HCG injections have started sperm production.  The past three months have really seemed to fly by, but the past week has taken an eternity.  In the past when DH has had his SA, he has received the results the same day.  This time however, they told us that it might take 48-72 hours- though they told us that we may hear earlier if his count is still zero.  We are certainly hoping for the best and have reason to feel that way.  DH has had more energy, increased libido, and has even felt quite agitated from time to time (we assume this may be from an increased testosterone level). So while we are hopeful, we have tried to prepare ourselves for the worst... as much as we can.  It's helped to focus on our "Plan B" just in case.  We haven't really gotten much information regarding adoption, but we've talked about it enough so that if the results from the test are bad, we know the world is not over.

It's hard to come back to this place.  For three months, we were able to feel somewhat normal.  We didn't have any appointments, we were able to genuinely laugh, completely enjoy each other's company (most of the time;), and just focus on other things.  This appointment is really stirring up those feelings that I hate so much.  The holidays were the worst I've ever experienced and do not want to return to those feelings.  I know there is nothing else we could have done and I take some comfort in that, but MAN, would it be more comfortable to have a sperm count higher than zero!  Keep your fingers crossed!