I had the BEST experience I've had yet during this infertility experiece! My DH is the most amazing man and I have been reminded by that time and time again during the past month. He is certainly struggling with our situation- maybe even moreso than I am because he feels a tremendous amount of guilt (no matter how much reassurance I give him that I don't look at this as "his" problem, but "ours"). But the other day, he completely put his feelings aside and reached out to someone for me. Upon receiving our weekly newsletter from church, he noticed a support group for women who are struggling with infertility. Without me knowing, he emailed the contact person and asked for more information. I would have NEVER reached out on my own, but because he did, I felt obligated to respond. I attended a support group the other night with 6 other women in similar situations. We laughed, we bawled, and we hugged- and it was an absolutely incredible experience. I was surrounded by people who didn't have pity on me, but who really understood... and that was an amazing thing.
When I was sharing my story, I mentioned that even though I knew the real goal was for us to have children in any capacity, I admitted that part of me was very sad about the possibility of never being able to experience pregnancy. One woman shared her story and asked if I had ever heard of embryo adoption. I hadn't heard about it and she said that this was the method her and her husband were using at the current time. Now... I know little to nothing about this option and have only read a few websites about it. I still have some hope that we will find some sperm during DH's biopsy, but I do want to be informed about other options so I don't lose it if the outcome is still zero. I have an appointment with a fertility specialist in December and know that I can ask about it then, but that's a long time away.
Can anyone share any information they may know about embryo adoption? Pros, cons? Expenses?
Hi there,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, welcome to this amazing supportive blogging community. I've found more support and information here online than I have anywhere else. I hope that you do too!
Secondly, Azoospermia sucks. I'm so sorry that you've joined the club.
Moving on, I've got to share my 2 cents about testicular biopsy to locate sperm. We started with a well respected UR who recommended a biopsy to collect sperm - he was so sure that there must be a blockage and that we had a great chance to retrieve sperm that could be used later for IVF. We were not prepared for the procedure - it turned out to be very painful for my husband with a much longer than expected recovery. We were also devastated when the results came back showing that there was no sperm in the tissue sample. We were told by that UR that we were out of luck - there was no sperm production.
We weren't ready to accept that news, and got a second opinion. I wish that we would have done more research about our options from the get-go... The second UR explained that there could be pockets of sperm production and that a biopsy only checked one location. He recommended a procedure called an FNA map, where they take 15 small needle aspirations from different locations on each testicle. The FNA map can verify if there is any sperm production anywhere, leaving you with the option potentially to do a biopsy or micro-disection to source sperm for IVF. We decided to try this, and although it confirmed that there was zero sperm production anywhere, it gave us the information we needed in order to move on and look at other options. I wish we would have started with the FNA MAP.
Grieving the loss of a biological family was a long hard process for me. I adore my husband and can't fathom that his genes will not be passed down to our children. We went to counseling every week together for a year, and I continued on my own for another year. It is a significant loss that I will always grieve.
We are now 34 weeks pregnant :) We ended up using donor sperm, tried two IUI's that were unsuccessful and a successful IVF. I am over the moon excited about this pregnancy and child. Along the way, I'd given up on the HOW we would build our family, although I wanted so badly to experience pregnancy i accepted on some level that it just might not be in the cards for us.
In retrospect, I wish we would have looked into embryo adoption before moving forward with DS. DS just seemed like the next logical step. For what its worth we paid about $3000 for each IUI ($1k for 2 vials of ds, and $2k for a medicated monitored back to back insemination cycle). We then spent about $20k on a two cycle ivf plan. Embryo adoption cycles cost about $5k from what I understand, with a higher rate of success than IUI, but less than IVF.
I'm not sure that we would have made any different decisions, but I do wonder about it.
Must be the longest comment ever... :) In any case, Welcome and Good Luck on your journey. Feel free to email if you ever have any questions or just need a few words of encouragement.
-Foxy
Thank you so much for all of this information. I had not heard about the FNA nap. We will definitely mention that to our UR if the result is still zero- although that is the result our UR is preparing us for. I am so very happy that IVF worked for you! I love a good success story right now:). I can't wait to read about your experience when I get a chance. Thanks for the support!
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