We are getting ready to go to my parents' house for Thanksgiving. I'm excited to get away and just relax. I'm hoping that the attention will not be on us, but I'm not dreading it as much as I thought I would. I guess if my mom makes any comments about me "not being myself" or "acting sad," I'll just chug some wine- that always makes me happy:).
Did I mention that my birthday is next week? Awesome. I could definitely do with it just passing over. It's only 29 anyway, nothing special. I told DH that I didn't want to celebrate with friends this year- I swear I'm not being mopey about it, but I simply would rather have a quiet night in. I really don't want to worry about acting super happy that everyone is getting together in honor of me-- like one should when people gather for them. I am totally not depressed about my birthday, but let's be honest- I'm sure we've all had times along this IF journey where we didn't feel like celebrating anything.
On a happier note, I was off from work today and got about 1/2 of my shopping done! And that's before Black Friday (which I hate, but there are some good deals to be had this year)! Money sure isn't buying me happiness right now, but I swear that buying presents for the people closest to me sure made me happy today!
Found your blog from ICLW. I'm sorry to hear about your situation. After our second miscarriage, we found out hubby's sperm isn't quite up to par either. So now along with figuring out how to keep pregnancies, we have to worry about when we'll get pregnant again. It is SUCH a horrible feeling - I can totally empathize with you! I think loosing control is the worst part of it all. So glad you are finding some joy in holiday shopping. Hopefully you'll be able to enjoy your birthday! Last one before the big 3-0, make it count!
ReplyDeleteI sent you an award - find it on my blog!
ReplyDeleteI think that we can all support doing what makes you happy. My DH and I were at the grocery today, one that isn't near our home, and I remembered that last year we were shopping there right before thanksgiving, right after getting the negative beta from our first IUI and filling the cart with booze. What was going to make us happy was drinking! We had a 4 day weekend and we were going to drink it up! It did take the edge off! I say do what you've got to do to get thru the holidays. (For what its worth, so much has changed since then... keep dreaming and hold on to the hope!)
ReplyDeleteOh- and Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday! I hope it is a good one.
ReplyDeleteGood for you for getting 1/2 your shopping done!!
ReplyDeleteI hope your visit with your family went well
Happy ICLW
#68
I couldn't find a way to leave you a comment on your TTC stats so I'm putting it here.
ReplyDeleteYour story is very similar to ours. My DH was also taking testosterone for low T, and then we were told that it can actually cause his body to stop producing sperm. Our RE actually told him to be off of the testosterone for 4 months before getting another SA, because it can often take that long or longer for his body to adjust and start producing again. In our case, 5 months later he re-tested and had 5 million sperm. The VA hospital endocrinologist put him on 3x a week shots of HSG in attempt to grow more swimmers. In 2 months his last SA was 10 mil. Still low, but something. My point is that if your DH just came off of T in September, his body may still be adjusting (unless your doc told you otherwise) so don't give up hope yet.
Hi there, here from ICLW!
ReplyDeleteI hope the holiday went over well, and that you didn't have to resort to too much wine (totally know the feeling - one of my favorite reactions when with hubby's family and the "oh, don't you guys don't want a baby" thing started).
And as for not partying on your birthday: there's no law requiring is to do so, so if you want to stay in, then stay in - it's your day! And I hope that it will nevertheless be a good one and that you will have found the happy ending to your TTC journey by your next B-Day! Happy B-Day!